The Thing About Trust...

Apparently, it's my turn to have an evil ex-partner story. For this tale, we will refer to him as Ex, because that's really all he's become.

Ex and I went out for 4 years; basically, we were high school sweethearts. During these four years, we were in clubs together, shared the same buddies, and were basically best friends. For the last year and a half, though, the best friend thing became a facade. As I came under more stress of being a senior and a club leader in 3 organizations, and Ex stalling on his own personal growth, our relationship soured really bad. He cheated on me online, and I confronted him; however, I wasn't upset with the act, itself, but that he hid it from me. He cried, I said it was OK and that he just needed to talk to me in the future. When I went to SL - which was 1/2 into college and we were a long ways apart... not to mention I was slipping into a depression, but that's another fun story - I asked if I could have online relationships, and he didn't object. Of course, later on, he would complain. In between that time, he would make me feel sorry for him and guilt me into sex, which if we know our definitions well, is technically rape. Finally, we moved into an open-relationship where we could see other people, with my primary intent being that maybe seeing others would show each other how much we fit for one another. Turned out, we didn't fit, and while he cried when we broke up, I felt like I was throwing off the ball and chain. I have moved on with my life and never really looked back.

In the earlier part of this stalemate, I got him into a site we'll call Forum. On Forum, you have a 2D avatar you can dress up, and collectibles are given out each month. Ex would buy me a number, though I know I bought a few for myself in the last month or two of our time together. When I went to SL, I stopped playing Forum, and I told him I probably wouldn't get back into it. We also knew each other's accounts so we could help each other get event items.

Well, I log on today to give my stuff to my friend, as I'm thinking, "What the hell? Why not? I'm not going back." I log in... and I have stuff missing. I check my trades, and my stuff has gone to Ex and what apparently is Ex's new girl.

I never gave him permission to do that.

He never asked nor contacted me.

Of course, his argument is that it is his to begin with, I stated I wasn't getting back on, and we haven't talked for however long. As horrible as the term is, this is the act of "indian giving", which is where you give someone a gift and then expect them to give it back. (The actual practice in Native American culture is practical; how the term has developed since then is not so practical.) I would also point that he didn't do anything to make sure that it was OK for him to just get on and give things away.

Ya' know, especially as some of that stuff I bought on my own, like my coveted N. Bustier item.

After all the crap he pulled on me, why should I contact him? How can I read his mind that he wants to give the stuff away on my account to his new girly? Should it be my responsibility to contact him?

Fuck that.

It's common principle- despite hardships, you don't get into someone else's home, account or other establishment and just take stuff without asking. Even if you know the password. It's not honest and ethically unsound.

I thought Ex was spineless. Now I know he is.